In less than a week my daughter will be in court fighting for custody of my grandchildren. Now this is the daughter that leaves for weeks at a time, leaving the kids with my husband and I to take care of. She doesn't call the kids or even text them goodnight. We have to go to court and make her look like a saint, in otherwords, lie like there's no tomorrow. This makes me shiver to the bones. The boys have a seperate father than the two girls. The seven year old was only 4 months when my daughter ended her 10 year marriage with the boys dad. She spiraled down hill with her best friend I refer to as "The Monkey". Of course their father isn't much better. He moved across the country and never looked back. He never pays his full child support.  He wants full custody because he thinks it would be cheaper to have them then pay support. Neither one thinking of what is best for the boys nor having their best intrest in mind. I could pay a large sum of money to through a wedge in the court case and fight for them myself, but I don't have it. We pay so many medical cost to keep my husbands health stable that any extra money barely pays the household bills. The kids have lived with me since they were born, and they would be devestated to have to live with a father that they don't even know. Their father lives in a sister state about a 6 hour drive. Close enough that this father of theirs could have made and effort to come and see his boys and devolepe a relationship with them. He chose not too, and now over 6 years later is fighting for them for all the wrong reasons. It's hard for me to think about the "what if's". I don't want to imagine life without these children. I just can't do it. I fear something bad will happen, even to the point of having night terrors. I can only pray for God to have mercy on these kids, on this family.

Just when you think that your life is NOT normal, you find out it is. Imagine my life as normal, the thought is beyond my imagination. I heard on TV that Grandparents become caregivers to their adult children and/or grandchildren has become the way of life these days. Just when we think it is time to retire we end up raising yet another family. I myself am raising four grandchildren and my daughter when she declides to grace us with her presence. There are two boys ages 12 and 7, and two girls ages 3 and 16 months. A big handful for a working woman and a husband who has a terminal illness and is on a liver transplant list. Some think I'm sooo strong, I hate when people say that, I don't have a choice so I just do it. I get through life everday the best way that I can. Strenghth has nothing to do with it. I just do what I have to do to stop the madness and make the children feel safe and loved. Something their parents can't seem to accomplish.

It didn't work....the book didn't come today....it's hard to be positive in this house

I have been expecting a book I bought online, it's still not here.....so I'm trying the laws of attraction today.....My book will come today, I will open and just love the pages in it. It's not a book but a weekly planner for writers....I'm going to love it. I"m going to start today when I get my planner by writing my thoughts on my book in my planner that I WILL RECEIVE TODAY!!